“Good enough parenting”, is a concept of utilizing parenting skills to make sure your child gets the best out of their childhood with the least amount of effort for parents. Ludden drew from his extensive research on research on effective parenting that he has been studying for decades to help parents raise better kids.
In this article, we give an overview of what good enough parenting is and detailed ideas for how you can implement it into your life.
What is the good enough parenting concept?
Good enough parenting is a concept of utilizing parenting skills to make sure your child gets the best out of their childhood with the least amount of effort for parents. Ludden drew from his extensive research on research on effective parenting that he has been studying for decades to help parents raise better kids. In this article, we give an overview of what good enough parenting is and detailed ideas for how you can implement it into your life.
Why did you decide to use this parenting style?
The good-enough parenting strategy for kids is based on the idea that it’s not necessary to be perfect all the time when raising children. Instead, People have realized that parents can manage their kids’ behaviors by using three developmental principles: chance and error; natural consequences; and rule-setting.
Chance and error.
Parents must allow their children to make mistakes in order for them to learn and establish a sense of self in the future. For example, when a child is learning how to walk, it’s imperative that they fall down and learn from their mistake in order to gain stability and balance.
A parent must let their child face natural consequences in order for them to learn the skills they need to survive in life. This means that parents should step back and not intervene when something bad happens to their children; it’s all part of learning.
This means parents should set up rules for the child to abide by, but should not always intervene when they make mistakes or break the rules. Parents must allow their children the freedom to make these decisions on their own in order for them to become mature adults in the future.
How does it work for your family?
In order for the good-enough parenting concept to be effective, parents must make sure they are actively involved in managing their child’s behaviors. In this section, we’ll go over how you can apply the good-enough parenting strategy to your life as a parent.
Ensure your child knows that you’re the parent and that they’re accountable to you by not always letting them get what they want. If you don’t, your child will feel that they can always get what they want from you.
For example, a child who constantly wants to go out and play with their friends all the time should be told by their parents that they need to do chores or help with other things so that their parents have time to spend time with them.
Take a little more time getting ready for school each day because your child will learn from seeing you put more effort into looking presentable.
If you’re trying to get your child to bed on time, try setting a rule for them that they can’t stay up past a certain point. Try not to intervene when your child breaks the rules or argues with them; it’s important for them to learn the natural consequences of their actions.
Try not to let your child get away with bad behavior because they’ll become lazy and start thinking that you aren’t serious about what you say.
What are some challenges that come with using this approach?
There are many challenges that come with using good-enough parenting, but the most common ones are trouble maintaining your composure when your child isn’t following the rules you set out.
It’s important for parents to maintain their composure when they’re enforcing consequences for their children because it sets a strong boundary that their children can respect.
You must also be sure to use good-enough parenting in moderation, as it could give your child mixed messages about life and cause confusion later on in life.
5 Tips on how to make it work in different situations
- Good-enough parenting isn’t for every child.
You must be sure that your child is developmentally ready for this parenting style before you implement it into your life. This means that you must assess their behaviors, study the most effective ways to punish them and make sure they can handle the consequences of their actions.
- Always use good-enough parenting in moderation.
The major advantage of using good-enough parenting is that it promotes self-reliance in children. A child who learns to take care of themselves and make their own decisions in life will be more likely to succeed in adulthood.
However, this means that you must be careful not to use good-enough parenting too much because it could give your child messages that they can get away with bad behavior.
- Good-enough parenting is the easiest way for you to handle discipline issues with your kids.
If you want to stay consistent in managing your child’s actions, you must make a rule for them and not always step in when they make mistakes. For example, if you want your child to get dressed for school early, then rule that they can’t get ready until after the bus pulls up.
- Setting a definite time limit on how long your child can be out is an effective consequence tactic.
If you want your child to get dressed early, then set a limit on how long they can stay out after the bus has come. If they don’t get dressed by the time the bus arrives, they’ll have to stay inside until it leaves. If they break these rules, you’ll probably have other consequences in mind for them.
- You must set rules for your child that you know they’re going to follow because breaking the rules will result in a natural consequence being placed on them.
If you want your child to be good, you must set rules that they’ll follow. For example, let them know that if they don’t get dressed by the time the bus comes, they’ll miss it. If your child breaks this rule, there will likely be other consequences for them.
Why it’s important to have boundaries with your children
We all know that children need discipline and boundaries to become the adults they’re suppose to be. Without these things, children can quickly become confused and angry as they grow older.
(When parents) keep things reasonable and clear and work together as much as possible, we find that we can not only handle many kinds of parenting challenges, but we also feel so much better about ourselves. We feel like we’ve done our job well.
The importance of being consistent in discipline
Setting clear boundaries for your child is the key to effective discipline. If you’re not consistent in your discipline, it can be hard for your child to follow the rules that you’ve set out in the past. To avoid this problem in your relationship with your child, you must be consistent when enforcing consequences for their actions.
Don’t let them get away with things because keeping things steady is much easier than constantly changing rules when it suits your needs.
How to set limits and enforce them without feeling guilty
- At the moment, it’s easy to feel guilty for enforcing consequences on your child, but you must remember that it’s for their own good.
If they don’t learn from these moments, they’ll never become independent and will always need you to make all of their decisions for them.
- Enforce rules that are appropriate for your child’s age and level of development.
It’s important that you set rules that are appropriate for your child’s development. If you set the rules too high, you’ll overwhelm them with consequences for not following them. If they’re too low, they won’t be prepared for living independently in society.
- Have a specific consequence in mind for when your child breaks the rules.
This will help keep things consistent in your mind when enforcing consequences on your child because you know exactly what results to expect when the time comes.
When should you seek professional help for your child or teen’s behavior problems
If your child or teen is showing signs of being depressed, be sure to seek professional help right away. You can contact your health care provider to get an appointment with a counselor for an assessment.
Why do people think they need to be perfect parents
We can’t be perfect parents because we’re not perfect people. We feel like we need to protect our children from every single bad thing in this world, but that’s not reality. It’s important to remember that they’re going to make mistakes and you won’t be able to stop them from doing so, but showing them how you found your way out of your mistakes will teach them more than any story ever could.
When does it become too much for the child
When is it too much for them? The answer to this question will depend on the situation. For example, when you’re playing with your child, it’s often easier to keep the game going than to stop and not play anymore because children love games that they can continue playing. If your child stops interacting with you or starts avoiding you, that’s a sign that something might be wrong.
How can you tell if your parenting style is not good enough?
If you’re wondering if your parenting style is not good enough, there are several warning signs that you should consider.
- Your child is unhappy in their life.
If your child or teen isn’t happy because of something that’s going on in their life, be sure to take it seriously. You might not be able to stop the problem, but you can at least make sure nobody else gets hurt while you deal with it.
- They have poor social skills.
Poor social skills are probably the most common sign that somebody isn’t being raised properly. If you notice this in your child, don’t be afraid to start teaching them how to talk to people so they can fit in with their peers better.
- They are depressed or anxious often.
If you believe your child is having these issues, it might be time to get them some professional help again. Depression and anxiety can affect anybody and since you’re their parent, you should be the one to get them help if they need it.
- They don’t get along with other people very well.
If your child doesn’t get along with the other children in their peer group, make sure to take this into account when making new friends for them. You’ll probably be more successful in this kind of situation if you pay attention to the problems that your child and their friends are having and try to resolve them beforehand.
- They try to hurt themselves or others.
If your child is showing signs that they might hurt themselves or other people, you must take action immediately. If they’re trying to hurt somebody else, you should also take them to a professional for their own safety.
- They act out too much in public places.
If your child is acting out in public places, try to understand why they’re doing this. They might be trying to get attention from you or from other people. Try to figure out why they’re doing it and how you can stop them from doing it again in the future.
- You notice a general change in their behavior that seems weird.
These types of changes often mean something is going on with them and you need to seek professional help right away. If your child is acting weird, they might be depressed or anxious and you shouldn’t take a risk with their health.
- They have a hard time making friends.
If your child is having a hard time making friends, try to figure out what the root of the problem is. If you notice that your child doesn’t have any friends, you should try to get them involved in an after-school activity so they can meet new people there.
- They’re having problems at school.
If your child is having problems at school, try to figure out why they’re doing poorly there. It might be something simple like because they keep making the same mistakes or it could be something more serious like the school itself is making them feel bad.
- You haven’t had any good relationship with your child in a while.
If you haven’t had a good relationship with your child in a while, it might be time for you to ask them what’s going on because they’re probably trying to show you something they think will make you happy again.
Good enough parenting is NOT perfectionism and it does not require “perfect parents”.
It involves being loving, respectful, honest, and truthful. You must be willing to give your children everything important that they need.
Good enough parenting allows for adaptation and learning
Good enough parenting recognizes that children and teens will make mistakes and that we’re not always going to be able to prevent them from doing so.
Our children are all unique – good enough parenting is flexible
Good enough parenting is flexible because it provides for an understanding of the uniqueness of each child. It is respectful of their individual differences, encouraging them to want to learn, grow, develop, and change as they experience life.